I couldnt sleep... especially when I have so much to think about, and I tend to look back on my memories all too often, where everything seems too fresh in my mind, regardless if it was something that happened 10 years ago! It's not that Im mad about it, I guess it is things that I wish I could have done differently, or maybe some things that I do not understand really today why they happened...
Another thing on my mind...
Sometimes it'd be nice if Mike and I could go out on a date.Just the two of us... to talk, and just I dont know,catch up on eachothers lives really.. as everyday goes by so fast, and we are both usually really busy, and Layla gets most of my attention all the time, so hard for me to pay much attention to Mike...
Regardless, the things that I get a bit down and upset about, most of them are just out of my control. I try and stay positive as best I can. We try and make every bill payment, and Mike supports me and Layla as much as he can, and tries to keep us happy and get us things that we need. Yes, it would probably be somewhat easier if I worked too, but I really do not trust someone else watching Layla... and either way, probably most of my pay would just go towards daycare.
I just wish Mike would think a bit more on wanting to put together something for just the two of us, where Layla could be babysat for a couple hours. Not that I dont want Layla around, but I just feel that we still need to keep our relationship strong and not lose that. Have to still put efford on a relationship, regardless if married or not. I think most marriages endup as a disaster, because some just get lazy, and there is no more spark, no more trying to impress the other. I just dont want that to be us! Our marriage so far has been wonderful, I admit, there have been down times, but that I believe is normal and healthy.But I also hope that there will be more to our lives than where we are at today.. I do not want to just be sitting in our apartment all day long, just me and Layla all the time. I need excitment, which may explain my frequent nights out on the weekends with sister and girl friends. But that's the thing, I also would love it to go out with Mike too. We are young still though, and I hope our education and careers will only improve, so we can make something of ourselves some day.
So I went to this cancer charity party thing last night... and made me think how I would want my friends/family to throw a huge awesome party when I'm gone! I'd hope theyd share plenty of my pictures of my most memorable moments in my life with the ones I love and care about.
Damn it, so my cat had 4 kittens, my sis took one of them home recently.. but there are still 3 left.. not having much luck on finding them homes.. and theyre driving me insane.. because they all love to play with eachother and they climb on everything.. and just make noise at night. Ive never been too much of a cat person... I much prefer dogs!!
Alrighty... well, I guess I shall get to bed...
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