My night.

Went to the barn again this evening. Its been really nice being able to go there every evening. I just mucked stalls, and groomed the horses, included my friends horse, while Mike walked Layla around the barn. Laudie has been trouble to catch recently, some days are good and some days are bad, but seems to be more bad than good!I dont know why or what has gotten into her.. as she has never been this way before. But I hope I can regain her trust and she will allow me to just walk up to her while shes in the field.
I watched The Social Network movie tonight with Mike... It was good! Amazes me how lucky the guy is who created facebook!Facebook is way too addictive though!
I was supposed to have finished an assignment today, but instead, I took a break. As I had spent so much time on other assignments and didnt get marks that I had aimed for, whcih pisses me off,because teachers always seem to find a way to deduct marks. Guess I will have a long day tomorrow...
Well, I guess I should get some rest now...

It's up & it's down. =)

Things are going well again, life is just up and down, and it'll probably be that way for a long time ahead, just have to deal with it and keep pushing on! :)

I've been really enjoying being able to go to the barn and see my horses everyday!I have to put Laudie in her stall myself, because she bolts into it,and hurts herself. So it's just best that I put her in myself, as she hasnt gotten hurt yet when I do it. I've also been tryng to get further on my assignments, at least trying to get one or two done each day, but it's tricky trying to balance school when I have to take care of Layla. Im finding that the newborn stage was the easiest =P Excluding the part where they wake up every couple hours through the night. Layla is full of energy now!She just wants to explore everything!haha!It's pretty amazing though, how much changes in only a few months. I've been hearing her say daa daa a lot! But I dont think she really knows what it means or how to use it, right now its just baby gabbing really. Although, it's quite obvious that it'd be her first word, as she's already saying it, just needs to learn how to use it. haha.

I'm not sure where I will get a job yet, but I need to apply just somewhere right close by. Hopefully will get lucky.

Yesterday at the barn, my good friend Kirstie came out too. So we played around on Cinnamon, let her practice her balancing while on the lunge line. Was pretty fun! I rode a bit too, and she got some pictures! I hadnt had action shots while riding Cinny in a long time. I always enjoy winter riding. With the snow and when the sun is its brightest, those are the best days!I may try to show this year, as I've never gone to a show nor been in one!Which is quite sad, the fact I've been riding for a long time now.

Darn it, I have a cough again... Hopefully wont last long or pass onto Layla..

Marriage

Does it ever take a lot to make a marriage work. My dreams to have a happy family,a house,and just be comfortable with life.
I think men are too blank minded, while women pay attention to too much detail. It will take time to get off of the bumpy stone road.. I am willing to try, but Mikes definitly taking some face plants! I want to make it a success, but sometimes just come to my wits end and need a breather.I think we need more time doing activities together.But yeah, we will work through it,and I hope for the best.

Today.

Well, as always, Im forgiving, but I never forget. I dont like to hold a grudge or be upset about something for that long...So even though Mike messed up, I

Todays Mikes 24th birthday, didnt do anything too big, as it's hard to be able to go out when we got Layla, and cant spend much. We went out for a late lunch with Mikes family, and had a cake.

I should probably start applying for a job soon, hopefully I'll get lucky,and get one right closeby.

A lonesome NewYears Eve..

Yup, he would leave me alone for New Years.... =S
...I said it's fine,that he can go out. But he spoiled the mood for spending time together, as he was contemplating on going out with friends and his brother to drink and celebrate New Years... Secretly, I was looking forward to this night. I was going to make a nice homecooked meal for us, candles,and champaign,movies... cuddling up on the couch and chatting. But he kept asking me if I care if he goes out... Well, I preferred him making that choice on his own, in my opinion, he should not have even asked such a thing.. The way I saw it, he was saying ''So, would you mind if I leave you all alone on NewYears?I want to go party with my brother and friends!?'' He had known well ahead of time what um, ''our'' New Year plans were... So I felt like my idea wasnt satisfying enough for him... so why bother, I dont want to be the nagging wife, saying what he can and cannot do. I hate when he puts it as if Im the one his friends or brother have to ask if he can have a smoke!!PFFFT!That makes me look like as if Im the bitch, I always respond, dont ask me, not my choice..
But anyways....I was smiling when he was putting on his jacket... I was hiding my smile though... Why would I smile?.. It was more of a disbelief sort of smile.. He even could sense I was bit upset he was leaving, he said hes sorry,that he loves me,that he'd call me wish me happy new years...but it was more like, BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH from what I understood =P
And out the door he went... leaving me with a shiver up my spine, and my heart fallin into my stomach.
New Years was never really a huge party event to me though... to me,I grew up where New Years was spent with your family,and some friends maybe. I didnt want to go out for New Years to party,as I have my baby Layla,shes my first priority,and I was content to just spend time with her and Mike at home.It wouldnt have been fun for me dragging her out late at night,and just sitting around trying to stop her from crying,while watching everyone else drinking and having a grand time. And all the other New Years with Mike, I was the host, meaning I had to be responsible for the household,and clean up afterwards,and manage the party,make sure nothing goes wrong.
Maybe this means something, I dont know. I guess it is just another ordinary night really?.... I guess I cant be too surprised, as he didnt do anything for my 19th birthday.
Seriously,not ONE thing, not even breakfast in bed,or a massage or picnic, or horseback riding, .... nothing. He made it up to me for my 20th..only because he knew how upset I had been from my 19th..
Some days... really wish I could go home. Shouldnt have been so stubborn and stupid minded as a teen.. my dad was right, and I had been too thick headed to admit it. Even though he had some faults, I now believe I had most of the faults.

Christmas,come&gone

This was me this morning,reading my book,Marley&Me, with my best pals by my side! =) I love moments like this!

Christmas has already come and gone!!It was a good Christmas this year, even better as my grandparents are home for the winter, as they usually go to Florida every year.

The year 2010 was a good year for the most part!Layla is already 7 months old. The marriage life is very nice too.

I look forward to the new year!!!May new beginnings & adventures happen =)

A late night Blog!

December.Already?!!!?!!Gosh, time is just flying by. Layla is growing everyday, is already 6 months old!Im up late tonight,its 130am... I was finishing up an assignment, as Im much behind on my course, and really have to crack down on it.

So I did not get that job I had the interview for.But that's okay.I was happy enough that they took interest on interviewing me.So I must be somewhat interesting,no? ;)

Shall see what comes my way, I dont feel very pressured just yet on finding a job.As I do not have to work, but I prefer to give it a go over the winter. Mike is not wanting me to, as hes not so sure he can handle taking care of Layla alone all day =P

Things have been really great between Mike & I recently! =) I love him, I just think I get upset and too lonesome with him away so often, and how hes been getting hom at about 7pm due to awful Toronto traffic!But Im always happy he makes it home safely.I worry everyday actually, that he will get to work and come home, safe and sound.. Life is a fragile thing. And I have realized that more and more recently, as I know of too many young friends of mine or even just aquantances, that have passed away recently. Makes me really sad, and cry just hearing the stories!... I worry even more when I know of someone who had epilepsy,seizured during work,and just passed away from the seizure.He was only 23,and had a baby on the way. =( So I just get paranoid something will happen soon to Mike or me. I know you cant live everyday in fear of dying.As thats no way to live!But death crosses my mind the odd time when I look back onto people who have passed away... just makes me all nervous...

I just would be very mad if I passed away in a car accident or something like that. It is one of my biggest fears actually!More so, because I had a friend who died in a car accident plus I have been in two myself.

Mike is a darling, he brought me home my favourite chocolates today when he came home from work!I love it when he does things like that. =) He can be charming when he wants to. I just think he is a bit miserable most of his days since he really dont like his job.. I wish for him to be able to do something he would enjoy someday.. Its just hard right now to have that option when supporting a family. Im glad he does what he does, as I know I couldnt do the type of job and hours he has to do. We both really look forward to the winter, every year actually, because he gets to be home!It is the off season for his job. This makes me love winter the most out of all the seasons!I always miss him when hes away at work... and Im sure Layla does too.. Sometimes Ive given Mike a hard time with random things, and I feel bad about it now. But hey, when you went through a pregnancy and just had a baby,the hormones are all over the place,so moodyness and irritability sets in here and there!heehee!But Ive been trying my best to control my temper!Gosh am I ever short tempered,but Im also easy to bring out of it! =D

This weekend we will be going to Niagara Falls, and visiting the inlaws at the farm. Hopefully they will watch Layla for a while so Mike and I can have some alone time together at the Falls.We rarely get to go on dates, so I really look forward to it. I love Layla though, but I also love Mike and want to keep our marriage strong forever. Hes been that one person who was there for me through thick and thin. When I look at it, kinda wonder how he put up with me sometimes =P But, I guess he can be a bit of a pain the odd time too! ;) haha.

Aw,I just looked around me,and my dogs and cats are sleeping nearby on their beds. =) I love them so much!I think its soo cute how they follow me around,if I go to one spot to relax they follow.

I have not been out riding much these days, but I know I will more often come late winter time. At least I hope so!With Mike being home, kinda get to go out more. I want to do more stuff this winter with Mike and our friends. Such as skating,toboganning on the big heal near our place,skiing,trail rides,random walks to Timmies for hotchocolates,walks through Victoria or Waterloo park to see the Christmas Lights!I find I enjoy winter activities the most!I like being all bundled up,and love to lay in thick pile of white snow at night,looking up to a clear starlit sky!

Mike and I have been asked from quite a few friends and family now, if we will be having another baby!! =O HAH! Okay, well ... secretly... I do want another baby.. But I aint letting Mike know that yet.(he wont know,as he never reads my blogs... ) I want to get my school done first, and try to work for a while,and I REALLY want a honeymoon!

But I do not want to get pregnant middle of winter,as Id die being in a late pregnancy in the hot summer time!I think it will happen when it happens... no plans for it. =P Im kinda done with planning out life.It never will go as planned,and then become all disapointed when dont go my way!So Id rather just be surprised,take life as it comes.Long as I live happily.

Well its quite late now.. I want to go cuddle up to Mike in bed. And dream away. =)

Goodnight!