A lonesome NewYears Eve..

Yup, he would leave me alone for New Years.... =S
...I said it's fine,that he can go out. But he spoiled the mood for spending time together, as he was contemplating on going out with friends and his brother to drink and celebrate New Years... Secretly, I was looking forward to this night. I was going to make a nice homecooked meal for us, candles,and champaign,movies... cuddling up on the couch and chatting. But he kept asking me if I care if he goes out... Well, I preferred him making that choice on his own, in my opinion, he should not have even asked such a thing.. The way I saw it, he was saying ''So, would you mind if I leave you all alone on NewYears?I want to go party with my brother and friends!?'' He had known well ahead of time what um, ''our'' New Year plans were... So I felt like my idea wasnt satisfying enough for him... so why bother, I dont want to be the nagging wife, saying what he can and cannot do. I hate when he puts it as if Im the one his friends or brother have to ask if he can have a smoke!!PFFFT!That makes me look like as if Im the bitch, I always respond, dont ask me, not my choice..
But anyways....I was smiling when he was putting on his jacket... I was hiding my smile though... Why would I smile?.. It was more of a disbelief sort of smile.. He even could sense I was bit upset he was leaving, he said hes sorry,that he loves me,that he'd call me wish me happy new years...but it was more like, BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH from what I understood =P
And out the door he went... leaving me with a shiver up my spine, and my heart fallin into my stomach.
New Years was never really a huge party event to me though... to me,I grew up where New Years was spent with your family,and some friends maybe. I didnt want to go out for New Years to party,as I have my baby Layla,shes my first priority,and I was content to just spend time with her and Mike at home.It wouldnt have been fun for me dragging her out late at night,and just sitting around trying to stop her from crying,while watching everyone else drinking and having a grand time. And all the other New Years with Mike, I was the host, meaning I had to be responsible for the household,and clean up afterwards,and manage the party,make sure nothing goes wrong.
Maybe this means something, I dont know. I guess it is just another ordinary night really?.... I guess I cant be too surprised, as he didnt do anything for my 19th birthday.
Seriously,not ONE thing, not even breakfast in bed,or a massage or picnic, or horseback riding, .... nothing. He made it up to me for my 20th..only because he knew how upset I had been from my 19th..
Some days... really wish I could go home. Shouldnt have been so stubborn and stupid minded as a teen.. my dad was right, and I had been too thick headed to admit it. Even though he had some faults, I now believe I had most of the faults.

Christmas,come&gone

This was me this morning,reading my book,Marley&Me, with my best pals by my side! =) I love moments like this!

Christmas has already come and gone!!It was a good Christmas this year, even better as my grandparents are home for the winter, as they usually go to Florida every year.

The year 2010 was a good year for the most part!Layla is already 7 months old. The marriage life is very nice too.

I look forward to the new year!!!May new beginnings & adventures happen =)